Being Brash

I'm tired of trying to constantly walk on eggshells and please other people. I'm tired of giving up the things I want and the time that I need to spend on my own efforts for other people's causes. It just gets to be frustrating after a while.

So, I'm going to try and not do that anymore. I mean, I'm a pleaser. a giver. And I know that I'll never divorce myself from that initiative. But I really need to start being a bit more selfish - for my own good. I think that the first steps are already in place, and the journey is set. I just hope that I don't lose my way from this path (again.) I say again, because even in my short 23 years, this is not the first time I've had to step back and make a decision to not please the people around me. It's a very hard thing for me. I hate to see that kind of dissapointment in another's face, especially if it's someone that I genuinely care about.

Doing this has made me a much happier, more carefree person the last few days. It's made me sleep better at night and not mind waking to a new day. And it's not like I had to blow up and tell someone off, or be hot-headed about anything. The change has to start internally, and the blowing up only needs to happen if you ignore that inner voice (telling you to help yourself, NOW!) for too long.

I feel free. And freedom's always a good thing.

-d.