A road of destruction called happiness
 
I went to the Evanesense concert on Friday night, and I would like to say that it was the highlight of this week end.  It wasn't.  Me fighting through tears of desperation in a restaurant two hours prior to the concert was pretty awesome though. . .
 
note the sarcasm. 
 
My best friend and I have been fighting for the last month.  It's bad when she and I fight - the worst kind, where no one really says anything and we just continue down a path of destruction and distancing.  Well, we had at one another on Friday.  That is to say, she had it out with me and like an ass I sat there and took all the hateful and inconsiderate comments she threw.  They were all true, don't get me wrong -- true, but misconstrued. 
 
And I don't even know where to go from here.  I can't seem to find the truth in the situation. 
 
Ok, ok -- so, I'm more than a little in love with her.  I have been for the entire three years that we've known each other.  This is no big surprise to her, as I have professed my love for her for the entire three years that we've known one another.  And now she's going back into this I hate myself and so I'm going down a road of destruction called 'happiness, forsaking all that really matters in my life.'  
 
We've been through this little diatribe several times throughout the course of our stinted relationship.  THREE TIMES!  But what can I do?  She thinks that I'm being jealous, when in all reality the only thing that I'm trying to do is give her some space and let her make her own decisions (albeit the wrong decisions.)  I don't try to cover the fact that I'm not going to be supportive of a new (albeit rehashed) relationshiop with an abusive partener.  I straight up tell her -- like a good friend that I'm supposed to be. 
 
Well, she comes off telling me that maybe I'm not the person that she thought she knew, and that maybe she should have been giving a lot less consideration to my opinion all along. 
 
How the fuck is someone supposed to respond to an insult like that?  You don't respect my opinion?!?  Then don't fucking ask. 
 
So, I step up -- I say fine, then maybe we should just say goodbye -- shit, friendships only last so long, right?  Love can only do so much.  And I'm spent. 
 
And then she has the nerve to apologize.  And I have to forgive her -- I mean, that's what I do. 
 
I'm a dumbass.  I frickin bigole dumbass.  And that's the way it goes. .