in spite of the weather

It's grey and raining and cold outside today. But I feel great. Better than I've felt all week, anyway. Besides, I don't really mind this kind of weather too much. I've had a love affair with a rainstorm for quite a few years.

I'm not going to jump out and say that my funk is gone. It's not really. It's lingering in the back of my mind and in the recesses of my heart - but I've found some peace of mind and that's all that really matters to me right now. Maybe it's because I've been eating a little better and getting some more rest. or maybe it was that extra cup of coffee this morning. nah, it was probably because I sat down last night and began to deal with all the crap that I need to take care of. (queue BTO's Takin' Care of Business) Financial stuff sucks! I'm really really horrible when it comes to money. I guess this is part of becoming a responsible adult in today's world. A thousand raspberries blown to you, kind sir (or ma'am, whichever it may be.)

So here is me - trying to pull my shit together so that I can move forward with my life instead of just standing here waiting for someone to come along and tell me what to do next. I'm excited at what life has to offer, I'm just not sure of direction right now. You know, when I was unemployed seventh months ago I had a plan that would carry me into the next five years. And I'm not a planner. I've always been the bloke to fly by the very threads in the seat of his pants! And then I had employment bestowed on me (a nice change after five months being out of work) and let life get away from me again. I fall into poor spending habits like not saving any money and buying things that I don't really have any use for. Oh - and having fun. Fun is expensive!

Maybe I need to find some poorer friends. I mean, all my friends say that they're poor, but they're not. At least they don't act like it. Maybe it's just that Mom and Pop will cover their asses if they need it.

Ah well, the joys of being accountable.

./ ./ ./ ./ ./ ./ ./ ./ ./ ./

another note. ( and speaking of accountability)

I've recently put my views out for all to see, both here in this journal and on the Orchard, and have received both positive and negative comments for the things that I said. I'd like to take a moment to say that I don't think Michael Moore is perfect, or our savior or anything like that. As I've said time and time again, I am aware that his movie is stilted (meaning that he has parsed facts together to tell a tale that is of his conception.) I am also aware that our government over the last four years has also done a lot of this "parsing of facts." In fact I would say that they've delivered to the public a lot of "half-truths", and even a few "down and out lies."

That's really disturbing to me. Especially disturbing considering that the last president was impeached for perjury. hmmm....Clinton lied about getting head from an intern. Let's impeach him based on puritanical moral code and media hype. Dubya lied about reasons of going to war, committing our troops, causing several thousand casualties, letting the bad guys get away and did it all with a smile on his face. But there's no media. The media has been afraid to be a necessary critique because they would be labeled "un-patriotic" or "un-American." That, my friends, is horse shit. Dubya lied. He constantly lies. but as they say, money talks and bullshit walks.

Then again, I'm a stilted voice too. Because I'm a peacemonger and I hate the concept of taking human life for any reason. Because I am un-American, at least the pseudo-macho idea that is America with all the boom, hiss and hurrah. (and the "we have to be right 100%" kind of attitude.) Because I'm a humanist, who truly believes that we're all created equal and because of that we all reserve the right to live, and live in peace.

peace be unto you,
-d.