Thursday, January 13, 2005

Late-Night Drive-Thru

It's twenty til midnight and I'm sitting in my living room, getting ready to fall asleep. Well, actually I'm going to put on Good Dog, Bad Dog and think about life for a while. Who knows what can come of good music.

I'm tired tonight. I've been tired all day long, and I'm not sure why. I got plenty of sleep last night. In fact, I had to fight through the last hour and a half. Not that it was all that hard. For years now, when I can't sleep, I just close my eyes and pretend until I get there. Some times the transistion is so smooth that I'll be dreaming before I realize I've ever left my couch. One minute, I'll be humming along, "Go down easy, baby. Go down slow. Take all the time you need, and don't let go. . ." and the next minute I'll be on a beach of white sand having an arguement about a Dostdoevsky novel with a creature that can only be described as a lobstrosity. (Think Dr. Zoidberg, only a lot bigger and a whole lot meaner looking.) But, I'm rarely afraid in my dreams; after all, they're not real.

So, I've put that album on. Shall we get to the meat of things? On to a "me you would not recognize?" I think it may be that time.

. . . . .
I want to talk to you about the beauty I've seen lately. Not because life is beautiful (although, I think it is) but because there's far too much despair in the world today. And when people get bogged down in the myre of their own self - in their problems, and needs, and routines - they have a real difficulty seeing past that. Despair will wrap itself around you; it is a cruel keeper that suffocates all unfortunate enough to cross its path. When that happens, you often need someone else to point out the beauty in the world.

First, and foremost, there is love. It's simple as that. The love of a parent and child, laughing in the sun. The love of a brother, and of one who stands with you when darkeness bodes. The love of another, so sweet, mere words can do it no justice. And if you can not find love in these places, there is always the love of the light itself; the warmth the sun shines down upon us. The quenching love of the softest rain. It is the love of my God and yours.

To find love you must open yourself, and give freely. It is the polar opposite of despair - that is about taking and consuming with an insatiable hunger. It is the healer and the light. As a wise Beatle once wrote, "In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." You must first learn to give in order to receive.
. . . . .

I'm tired tonight. And I think it's time to sleep.

3 Comments:

Blogger Lara said...

This isn't very content related, but....


Do you have internet at home now?

3:34 PM  
Blogger taliendo said...

nah, I was writing in a paper journal at home and copied it to the site this morning. I dated it to reflect the time it was written and everything -- it was just something I wanted to share.

-d.

4:12 PM  
Blogger I am Z said...

thanks for sharing this, gdbd is the cd i want played at my funeral --latter days on repeat.

peace,
zayne

3:06 AM  

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