sitting, waiting, wishing

You know, I don't feel put-out or displaced or anything like that. I've learned to be patient in my life -- I've learned that I'm good at waiting, watching. Unless I have expectations, of course - that is an entirely different ballgame.

Not to say that I don't get frustrated with it all from time to time. But when that happens, I know my fix can only be a few breaths away, a recollection of a favorite tune, a hum of a few bars or soft poetry whispered underneath my breath. This is what brings peace back to my mind.

So, I've spent the last few months just being. I wake, work, be semi-productive in my personal goals, have good family times (if little social life.) And I'm pretty ambigious as to what comes next. But I'm sure something's going to give. The time for permanent settling just doesn't seem quite right - and I feel selfish for wishing that it were.

I'm here -- sitting, waiting, wishing. And waiting on tomorrow to unfold.

g'n,
-d.

whimsey

So, I really wrote some quick thoughts down last time because I was in a whiney mood and wanted to pout. Thanks for all the response -- perhaps I was fishing a little bit.

Tonight, I write because -- well, because I'm bored and not really thinking all that heavily. "Life get's pretty heavy, I wish it were light." ~LD

So I suppose that this is a lighter time. The end of the night, after all I love the night. And perhaps I should just quote OtR lyrics from here on out.

So, have you thought about those things I was talking about? About Life and Death and the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown? er...I AM, rather. Although, it is Autumn and I am feeling quite whimsical. I've been practicing not seeing finality surrounding me and dwelling on things that I cannot (nor would I want to) control. And it's not been too difficult. As it turns out, there's a lot in life that exists solely as distraction from oneself.

And, I've been dreaming again! I love to dream -- well, remember my dreams, I should say. The other night I had a dream about the upcoming Taft show mixed with some sort of arguement with Jack Abbott from the Young and the Restless. Crazy! I know. I don't even watch soap operas! (anymore)

(teehee)

heh. that's my embarrassed, but not really, laugh.

Well, I think I'ma gonna close up. (before I embarass myself further)

Good chattin' yo
-d.

tired

Well, I'm tired of staring at the same fucking screen everytime I come here. So I'm updating (but not really -- so don't worry.)

Holloway (that's where I work now) is tiresome. We're working Saturday this week. And I'm not too upset about the over-time. However, people are, and aren't planning on coming in - which is why we're working in the first place. See, everyone just got all their points rolled-back on October the 1st.

Delinquents.

And I've been stuck in Amatuer City for two solid weeks, training people. I hate people sometimes. Not everyone, of course, just retarded people.

And I'm not referring to the mentaly handicapped. Just stupid people who should know better. Ya know, retards.

Enough of the bitchfest. Besides, other than work - life has been pretty alright. Living at home has it's positives, for sure. And I truly love my family.

So, I guess that's it -- the update. Cause I'm tired and I want to go to bed.

gute Nacht,
-d.