a small voice
I feel like I've all but lost my voice. You know, the one that comes out in the wee hours of the night, tears you from sleep, if only for one perfect sentence. I don't feel as if I've written anything of worth in over a month. Nothing productive.
I've always been a big fan of journal writing. It's been an easy way for me to practice my discipline over the years, and to slow my ever swirling thoughts. I've pulled a few decent short stories out and used some notebooks for the start of a novel. None of these have ever really gone anywhere, but simply transfered from one form to another - from the notebook to the computer screen, sometimes right back in the notebook. This is my brain doing it's old tricks again - just juggling moments from my life: left brain, right brain, left brain, right brain. Nothing new is created, but the same thoughts tirelessly reincarnated and each time polished a little more. Perhaps someday I'll have something that people will actually want to read. Who knows?
The thing is, poetry has always served as an "easy" outlet for my creativity. I put easy in quotations because the poetry isn't really easy at all, but it's at least been concise and always an accessible form. But lately I've been bored with all the formulaic posturing associated with strict verse. My blank verse and free form poetry has always been a half step up from drivel; it's the stuff of suicidal thirteen year olds and aging hacks. And so that pretty much counts poetry out. I even have a couple of aging songs that are probably going to die soon if I don't get some lyrics attached to them. Then again, maybe the songs aren't ready to be written yet.
So, I guess the goal of this winter season is to find a voice. Not just any voice, my voice. I need August back in town; I miss him entirely too much. When he was around, I was constantly writing something. I always had something to say. I suppose it's the kind of inspiration that you can only find in another writer/poet/philosopher/best of friend.
I need to figure out a way to say what's on my mind without just spilling everything and sounding like a whiney bitch. Yeah, that's my problem. I'm a whiney bitch. heh. At least I got that out of the way.
off to the imaginary apple orchard,
-d.
I've always been a big fan of journal writing. It's been an easy way for me to practice my discipline over the years, and to slow my ever swirling thoughts. I've pulled a few decent short stories out and used some notebooks for the start of a novel. None of these have ever really gone anywhere, but simply transfered from one form to another - from the notebook to the computer screen, sometimes right back in the notebook. This is my brain doing it's old tricks again - just juggling moments from my life: left brain, right brain, left brain, right brain. Nothing new is created, but the same thoughts tirelessly reincarnated and each time polished a little more. Perhaps someday I'll have something that people will actually want to read. Who knows?
The thing is, poetry has always served as an "easy" outlet for my creativity. I put easy in quotations because the poetry isn't really easy at all, but it's at least been concise and always an accessible form. But lately I've been bored with all the formulaic posturing associated with strict verse. My blank verse and free form poetry has always been a half step up from drivel; it's the stuff of suicidal thirteen year olds and aging hacks. And so that pretty much counts poetry out. I even have a couple of aging songs that are probably going to die soon if I don't get some lyrics attached to them. Then again, maybe the songs aren't ready to be written yet.
So, I guess the goal of this winter season is to find a voice. Not just any voice, my voice. I need August back in town; I miss him entirely too much. When he was around, I was constantly writing something. I always had something to say. I suppose it's the kind of inspiration that you can only find in another writer/poet/philosopher/best of friend.
I need to figure out a way to say what's on my mind without just spilling everything and sounding like a whiney bitch. Yeah, that's my problem. I'm a whiney bitch. heh. At least I got that out of the way.
off to the imaginary apple orchard,
-d.
posted by taliendo at
10:51 AM
1 Comments:
i know it's not what you want, really, but i have to take issue with the idea that you haven't 'written anything of worth in over a month.'
your words here and your sent words of encouragement are quite worthwhile to some folks.
just don't quit sharing here while you're trying to find your creative voice, again. 'kay?
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